Coming of Age

Confessions from 35,000 feet

I wrote my last Substack on the plane from New York to San Francisco, and after getting so many nice responses about it, I reread it and thought, was I more open because I was on a plane? I think we can all agree that we cry more when watching movies on planes. Is this the case for writing personal missives as well?!

Now I’m on the return flight to NY, after spending a particularly sweet week in San Francisco and Napa. Because I’d just reconnected with many friends who live there while pulling together my SF Black Book, I had a long list of people to see and places I wanted to experience.

I only got to see/do a fraction of my list, unfortunately, but here’s a rapid-fire dispatch of what I saw that was new to me: Postscript—a deeply thoughtful and brilliantly executed cafe-meets-marketplace in the Jackson Square neighborhood. Its owner, Gina, cares so deeply, and you can feel it—from the black peppercorns she sells that she discovered in Greece last summer, to the menu, which is both clever and delicious. Spruce! It’s my friends’ regular since they live down the street—we had lunch in the bar, which is apparently the move, as is the pastrami sandwich. The Morris—after reading several recommendations for it in our Black Book, and given that it occupies the space of my old favorite restaurant, The Slow Club, we went with friends and loved it. If you’re a chartreuse fan (especially vintage chartreuse), this is your spot. Also, an incredible wine list. Also, great duck. Going to and from the Morris, we took a Waymo (driverless taxi)—a real first!!!

I was there for a week and those were my only new discoveries. What can I say, I’m a serious creature of habit! Moreover, I spend an inordinate amount of time with my friends, and we usually just cook in.

But last night I had an extraordinarily special dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, Bix. I wrote about my deep connection to this place in the intro to the SF Black Book, along with a number of other SF places that really shaped me. After that came out, I received so many beautiful emails from other people who were also so truly influenced by certain places in the city—with Bix being the most beloved of all. Last night, I had the immense pleasure of having dinner with its owner, Doug Biederbeck, for the first time. How many times do we get to do that in our lives—to be so influenced by something or someone, and then, as a full-on adult, get to tell that person? It’s really a gift.

If you’re not someone who has heard me talk about my past, you might just assume that I come from a family with means and just grew up this way. On the contrary—when I was a kid, our vacations for the most part meant driving 800 miles to visit the grandparents. Until I was 10, we lived in Washington State, where my mom grew up and her parents lived, and from 10 on, we lived in Burlingame in the Bay Area, where my dad was from, and his parents lived. I still remember many of the I-5 exits, and I’ll never forget this one gas station snack somewhere near Grants Pass, where they had these homemade potato skins in a brown paper bag sprinkled with paprika and salt. Sometimes I’d convince my parents that rather than overnight at our distant aunt’s house in Medford, we should stay at one of those motels with the glowing swimming pools just off the highway. Once there, I’d beg for a can of Country Time Lemonade soda from the motel’s vending machine (we were very much a no sugar and no meat household). When people ask me some of my favorite travel memories, no joke, those are what come to mind.

Where am I going with this? Still on the plane, clearly, getting more sentimental as the hours drag on. There’s a lot that happened between the doggy paddling at that motel swimming pool and drinking Campari spritzes poolside at the Passalacqua. There will need to be a lot more podcasts and Substack posts written on planes for me to get through all of that. But I do want to say this: keep your eyes peeled. Stay open. Be curious, Be nice. Somehow, someday, all the stories will come together, and you might end up being seated across from your restaurant hero.

PS: ICYMI, we did an epic 50 page-ish Caribbean Island Travel Planner last week. If you need some gift ideas, I am pretty proud of this year’s Gift Guide. And next week, we’re going to start something new: a 10 Questions column, beginning with our friend, writer/editor Christine Muhlke, who really has the most exacting, good taste. We asked her what we really want to know as we head into this holiday season. If you’re not following her and her amazing Substack xtine already, do yourself a favor and sign up. —Yolanda